Archive for the 'Faith' Category

Back to church

Published on Feb. 20, 2006 in Faith. 5 Comments

Yesterday, I went to church for the first time in months. I don’t even remember the last time I went - it must have been at least three, possibly four, months ago. Between work and school, I just didn’t have any time or energy to wake up early on a day I didn’t really have to. That coupled with the fact that I was just going through the motions of what I was expected to do whenever I went, I just lost all desire for attending.

For whatever reason, about half way through reading break, I decided that I’d go this week. It just seemed right for some reason. But on Saturday morning, my mom suddenly had a big fit and totally chewed me out for anything and everything, including the fact that I hadn’t been to church in a long time. She demanded that I go this week. With that, I didn’t really feel like going anymore.

But Sunday morning, I changed my mind again. Earlier in the week, I’d planned on attending my home church, but didn’t feel like it after the argument the day before. Instead, I attended Tenth Avenue Alliance by myself.

Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t been for so long, but when I think of church, I think of a cold, uncomfortable sanctuary filled with mostly middle-aged upper-middle-class conservative Chinese evangelicals singing the same tired old songs week after week. It was surprising to see a more multicultural group of people, including a significant portion from a younger demographic, many of whom were bringing in coffee from their respective favourite cafés. Honestly, it just seemed so foreign to me for people to be bringing in food and drink into the sanctuary because it’s not done at my church. But now that I think about it, why not?

Singspiration felt eerily the same as at my home church, though different at the same time. Same because many of the songs were ones that I knew from my church, performed with the exact same arrangements. But at the same time, the atmosphere there was entirely different - it felt a lot more energetic and vibrant, like what they talk about actually has some real significance, unlike the sterile, stagnant faith that I’d come to know while growing up.

Overall, it’s hard for me to make any sort of conclusion on the experience because I have a lot of mixed emotions. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then, but I haven’t been able to really sort out my feelings on it, which has been a common trend for me lately. I know I didn’t find the sermon particularly engaging, even though the pastor is an interesting character. I liked how the service didn’t feel slapped together piece by piece (e.g. 5 minutes allocated for singing, followed by 5 minutes of prayer, followed by a 30 minute sermon, etc.), though perhaps once I get used to the format, it might begin to feel that way again.

I guess I don’t really know what I’m looking for right now. All I know for sure is that my home church really isn’t the right place for me. I think I’ll continue to attend Tenth for a while just to get a better feeling of what they’re about and then I guess I will take it from there.

Conversational spam

Published on Nov. 12, 2005 in Faith. 4 Comments

Some customers at work today tried to convert me to Christianity. They just wouldn’t stop talking about how much God loves me, how I can be set free from sin, how I can be healed. They invited me and my coworker to come to their event tonight. Needless to say, neither of us even really considered going, although we said we’d “think about it”.

As soon as I took their invitation card, memories of past mass-marketed evangelism events came back to me. You come in clutching your friend, since you have no idea why you’re stepping foot in a strange place like a church. The night begins with an icebreaker game, where they make sure that you get separated from the few people there that you actually know, because for some reason, they think that putting you into a group with complete strangers and having you awkwardly avoid eye contact with them is somehow beneficial. Then, a band comes on stage who plays a bunch of songs about God that you totally don’t get, so you just sit and nervously check your watch every two minutes, waiting until you can go home. Finally, a speaker comes on and talks about how you’re a sinner, how you need God, how the ABCs of salvation can save you from burning in Hell. Then there’s an altar call, where they try to get people who have “made a decision for Christ tonight” to come up to the stage, so that people can lay hands on you and pray for you. After all that, you’re allowed to leave the sanctuary and pick at the snacks in the hall. Then you beg your friend to take you home because you felt so out of your element.

Although I am a Christian, I’m not a big fan of these types of events anymore. The way I see it, it’s just like spam - it’s unwanted, annoying and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe I’m jaded, but I find that mass evangelism, like spam, is just a big numbers game. Get more people through the door and get more Christians leaving them at the end of the night. Although most people will just not be interested, a percentage will. In the same way that most people avoid canvassers on the street who shout this and that about abortion, marijuana or same-sex marriage, we avoid pushy Christians who look at people as if they are conversion prospects.

If somebody really cared about my spiritual life, they would take the time to build a relationship with me, cry with me, laugh with me, share their burdens with me. We could talk about what each of us think about God and share some dialogue. If a close friend wanted to talk to me about spiritual issues, I would absolutely welcome it. But when a random stranger wants to convert me to Christianity, I immediately close up.

It’s times like these when I feel alienated by modern Christianity, although I do believe in God. Sometimes, I really wish there was an alternative to the institutional church.

I’m a bad Christian

Published on Jul. 19, 2005 in Faith. 7 Comments

I just took this absolutely hilarious worldview test. It’s a series of questions to which you can respond anywhere between “strongly disagree” and “strongly agree”. After you’ve answered all the questions, it tells you whether or not you have a “biblical worldview”; however, the creators of this test have sadly mistaken a biblical worldview for a right-wing, Republican worldview. I took the test and got -10/170, which means that I’m a Communist/Marxist/Socialist/Secular Humanist Worldview Thinker. If you don’t believe me, you can check out my results. Granted, once I caught on to their political leanings, sometimes I answered opposite to the “right answer” just because.

Responding with No Opinion gives you -2 points. That just baffles me.

A lot of the questions don’t even make sense, such as “George W. Bush is the President of the United States of America.” How do you really disagree with that? And what does that have to do with having a biblical worldview, anyways? I can understand why they would have questions about the Bible, philosophy and truth in such a test, but a lot of the questions are irrelevant. I can’t believe the audacity of these people, claiming that the answers to their test are biblical.

The scale of test results floors me as well. It basically ranks you somewhere between Strong Biblical Worldview and Communist Worldview, as if somehow democracy is ordained by God, while communism is from Satan.

It really makes me angry to see that these people even hold Worldview Weekends, where they “learn how to not just polish the fire-engine of apologetics but to get around the intellectual arguments using the moral law and following the way of the Master: Jesus Christ.” Wow. One of the huge problems I have with fundagelicals is how they often don’t think critically. Also, apologetics gets us nowhere. Bible thumping does not make somebody suddenly go, “Oh, maybe now I’ll say the Sinner’s Prayer and give up my life to Jesus.” In the quoted statement, it even states that they try to get around critical thinkers by using “moral law”, which probably translates to “taking the Bible out of context.”

I wish that things like this did not exist. I wish that the people who do these kinds of things would see the error of their ways. It hurts when I see gross misrepresentations of what Christianity is supposed to be about.

Mother Hastings

Published on Aug. 25, 2004 in Faith and General. 5 Comments

Last night, I went to Main & Hastings with several people to help prepare food for the homeless. I know Angela is tired of hearing me say this, but I am so proud of her for coming with us! She volunteered nine hours of her time yesterday to prepare with Mother Hastings in the pouring rain of the afternoon and then helped serve food at night as well. I know that it is something that she wouldn’t normally do, so it makes me happy that she was so willing to help out!

Although I have helped serve the homeless before, this experience was definitely more eye-opening because of how much food we made. It’s surprising how Mother Hastings managed to get so much good food from businesses that wanted to just throw it out. We made many bowls of green salad and fruit salad on the street, while Mother Hastings served hot pasta with sauce cooked at her home. It was amazing how many loaves of bread we gave away too. I have no idea how many people came by last night, but there must have been at least a hundred or more. Angela, Melodie, Alicia and I chopped vegetables for four straight hours and almost all of it was gone by the time we left. Even after four hours, my back started to hurt and I’m a young, healthy person. It’s amazing how Mother Hastings has been doing this almost every day for the past six years, when she’s supposed to be retired. When we left at about 11:15pm, she was still there, making sandwiches on her own with the leftover vegetables and meat. It’s so clear that God has helped her through all of this because I would only be able to do what she does for a few days relying on my own strength.

While making my lunch this morning, I was amazed at how much good food I have in my house. I feel bad for taking all the great comforts in my life for granted and for complaining about trivial things when there are so many people who don’t enjoy nearly the same quality of life that I do. I’d definitely be interested in helping out again some time.

The quiet whisper

Published on Aug. 6, 2004 in Faith. 3 Comments

This year’s camp experience was definitely different than usual. Normally, camp is an overwhelming spiritual high for me, where it’s so easy to sense God’s presence around me and to sing praises unashamedly. Not quite so this year. In a word, I would describe camp as “mellow”.

My first reaction would be to declare that camp was not really a success - that for some reason, something went wrong. However, as I continued to think it through, something in me knew that this could not really be true. Wherever true believers gather in God’s name, he is there. And certainly, we are believers, so what happened? The problem with my assessment was that I was using the wrong criteria to judge the camp. It’s foolish to think that because I didn’t “feel” God, he was not there or not speaking to us.

I sense that most Christian teens don’t realize how dangerous it is to classify camps, retreats, “worship concerts”, etc. as good or bad based on superficial things. I know that I am guilty of it, myself. For example, when I said that Historymaker was “really good”, it was because Hillsong United played really well and because the speakers were engaging and funny. However, true worship has nothing to do with how well the band played or how articulate the speaker was - it’s about how you humble yourself to God’s sovereignty and stand in awe of him. I’m beginning to realize how lazy I am in worship, relying on bands and speakers to worship for me. If they worship fervently, I hitchhike on them.

This year, God did not use his megaphone. He spoke in a whisper, and I hope that the teens heard it. For me, I learned that I need to learn how to worship without the “experience”. Otherwise, who am I worshipping? The band or the one who blessed me with my life?